A rubber boot swaying on his head, multitudes of ties peeking out from under his salt-and-pepper beard, presidential candidate Vermin Supreme proudly distinguishes himself from the other presidential hopefuls with his signature opening line: “I am a friendly fascist, a tyrant you can trust.”
His campaign manifesto includes a mandatory dental hygiene law, funding for time travel research and an energy policy that involves harnessing the power of zombies.
According to his official campaign website, “Vermin’s participation in electoral forums raises the critical questions that your run-of-the-mill apparatchicks [sic] will necessarily ignore.”
Yes, this is a real candidate. He will appear on the presidential ballot this November, and if you are 18 or older and a registered voter, you too can vote for Vermin Supreme for Presient.
But good luck to those who decide that they support the initiative of ponies for all Americans as he does; according to Supreme, a vote for him is a vote “completely thrown away.”
Believe it or not, this kind of thing happens more commonly than you might think.
Supreme is only the latest in a line of satirical candidates who run completely legitimately for the presidency but seek to poke fun at the American political system.
Notable past campaigns include that of “Pigasus,” a pig—yes, you read that right—who ran for president in 1968.
Now, it is pretty clear that there is no way such a candidate would have a snowball’s chance in July of winning.
Why, though, do some feel the need to participate in a campaign that’s sure to lose?
These amusing campaigns do in fact have an underlying political point. Amid the mudslinging and repetitive rhetoric of “viable” presidential candidates, a voice calling for dental police is a refreshing wake-up call for the current political discussion in America.
Indirectly, Supreme and his predecessors are asking America to take a good look at who they elect to lead them, and at what each candidate truly intends to achieve while in office.
Think about the implications: a rubber-boot-clad man could theoretically be the leader of the free world, if he could get the votes.
Who knows?
Perhaps America does not need more insanity to pile onto the already insane state of electoral politics.
Or, perhaps America could benefit from head-boots, toothbrushing police and identification ponies after all.